10 Things LGBTQ Folks are Tired of Hearing

These types of articles are all over the place. Sometimes they’re even separated into different identities, like bisexual, pansexual, or transgender. But I figured I’d just include everyone.

Here’s 10 questions/statements LGBTQ people are tired of hearing, and ones you should avoid asking any LGBTQ friends you may have.

1. How did you know you were gay?

The classic response would be, “How do you know you’re straight?” Identifying as LGBTQ is personal, and while people may suspect, only that person really knows.

It’s not something to be questioned by others and no need for someone to convince others of. While a person may question their own sexuality or gender identity, it is not a question for someone to ask another individual.

2. Are you sure it’s not just a phase?

At our age, in college, people are often at the time where they are finding themselves and may be exploring attractions or identities. Identifying as LGBTQ is not a tattoo, and a person can freely identify as a lesbian and then come out as bisexual. It’s all about self-discovery.

While someone may discover and come out as a different identity, it doesn’t mean they went through a phase; they were just discovering who they are, and no one should be questioned. This is especially important because coming out can be a process of coming out to oneself, and questioning an LGBTQ individual can make this much harder on them.

3. You don’t really look gay though …

Well please tell me what that looks like? Identifying as LGBTQ often comes with stereotypes of physical appearance, like butch and femme or gay men being more fashionable and feminine. But those don’t always hold true, and no one should be criticized or questioned because there is no relationship between sexual orientation and gender identity and your appearance. The way one looks is all one’s personal choice.

4. Oh, you should totally meet my other gay friend!

Since the LGBTQ Community can be small on college campuses, friends often try to hook each other up with their friends. This may be very appreciated, or maybe not.

5. Have you even been with anyone?

People who identify outside of the community may find the whole idea foreign and want to know all the details so this often comes up. However, you shouldn’t freely just ask this; make sure the LGBTQ individual is willing to share.

6. Who wears the pants in the relationship?

This is hilarious. Why have gender roles when we can have pizza rolls?

7. So how do you, ya know, have sex?


Sex within the LGBTQ Community is often fascinating for those who don’t identify with it. But it’s all the same. It’s not about parts, it’s about hearts. LGBTQ individuals can pleasure each other sexually, just like those who don’t identify.

8. (Same sex friends:) Are you gonna hit on me now?

I think one of the fears people have when coming out is thinking that their friends will think they’ll fall for them. Or that others will think they’re a couple when they go out together. But if the LGBTQ individual knows you don’t identify and are not interested, your friendship will probably remain the same.

9. What bathroom do you use?

This is one of the rudest questions you can ask someone because why do you care?

10. Can I watch?

As I said, sex within the LGBTQ Community is often fascinating to others and some may take pleasure in seeing it. Just Google it though.

Please don’t ask these questions or make these statements to LGBTQ folks. They’re just annoying, offensive, and unnecessary.

Originally published on uloop.com


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