One thing I think alot of members of the LGBTQ Community go through is repressing their sexual identities. This can happen for many reasons, but I think the most popular include fear of rejection, acceptance, and shame. We are oftentimes taught that identifying within this community is bad, that they have a harder life, or maybe, that you shouldn’t choice that life (as if it’s a choice).
Recently I was reading Inga Muscio’s book, Cunt. While it focuses mostly on sexual freedom for women, Inga also mentions her identity. She talks about how she regrets not embracing her sexuality early on:
“When I became sexually active with men, sex wasn’t what I wanted at all. I wanted love and affection. I had fun having sex with my girlfriends, but it was just that: fun. Suddenly, it seems one day, I was supposed to re-eact this with boys…it’s quite a bummer-not to mention life-threatening reality-that I didn’t figure this out ’til after I tested the sheets…” (page 97)
“Had I been left to my innate feminine wiles, I would’ve found a much safer and supportive way to procure affection, love and acceptance, starting with myself” (page 98).
In reading about Inga’s life and her abortions, I took a moment to be grateful that as a college student I feel free and am privileged enough to feel comfortable embracing my identity.
I hope that you as well will do the same because not doing so can lead to a lot of negative feelings. I’m not saying you’ll get an abortion if you don’t embrace a lesbian identity. I’m saying that I truly believe you benefit a lot if you realize that any attractions you may be feeling are totally valid.
Be sure to check on Inga’s book!