You may remember my post on ace identities in the past. However, in that post I missed the spectrum of romantic orientation and also forgot a lot of the more in-depth parts of the Ace Community. Last week was Asexual Visibility Week and I learned a lot about both romantic and sexual ace identities. With that, here’s what I’ve left out in the past regarding the ace community.
Here are some of the important facts that went unmentioned.
David Jay founded the Asexual Visibility Educational Network (AVEN) to help create acceptance and education around the Asexual Community.
Asexuality is classified in the DSM as a mental disorder. However, it went from a sexual disfunction to a sexual interest/arousal disorder.
For both sexual and romantic orientation:
Lith- is someone who experiences attraction, but does not desire reciprocation. (lithromantic/lithsexual)
Cupio- is someone who doesn’t have a sexual or romantic attraction but still desires a sexual relationship. (cupioromantic/cupiosexual)
Zed- or Allo- is someone who is not on the Ace spectrum. This can be compared to the identities that are often not talked about because they refer to so many people, such as cisgender and heterosexual. (zedromantic/zedsexual or alloromantic/allosexual)
Quoi- is someone who can’t tell the difference between sexual and emotional attraction or is unsure what attraction they are feeling. (quoiromantic/quoisexual)
Additionally, ace flux is someone who’s identity flucuates on the ace spectrum, such as sometimes demisexual, sometimes asexual. The word for this on the romantic orientation spectrum is aro flux. (Ace flux/aro flux)
They have their own flags. And cake. And some wear rings.
The colors of the asexual flag are purple, black, gray and white.
Romantic orientation flags are the asexuality flag with hearts with different identity flags inside.
Cake is often talked about in asexual communities, in saying they enjoy cake more than sex.
Some people wear a black ring on the middle finger of their right hand to represent their asexual identity.
Both identities can still have sex and/or romantic relationships. This does not have to include love.
Platonic feelings are most often defined as those that are not romantic or sexual.
Ace people can have high or low sex desires (libido) because sexual attraction and drive are different.
Some asexual people form relationships with those who are sexual.
A squish is a term used to describe an interest in somebody that goes beyond traditional friendship roles and experiences. It may also describe an aromantic “crush” or a desire for a platonic relationship with someone.
Queer-platonic is a non-romantic relationship where there is a strong emotional bond. Sometimes aromantic people experience these types of relationships.
Some Additional Facts
Asexual people are not always aromantic and vice versa
At least 1 out of every 100 people are asexual.
Being celibate is a vow to abstaining from sex and is a choice, while asexuality is an orientation and not a choice.
This piece was made with help from Ashley Mardell’s YouTube video that you can watch here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tQVvVhe6EPc
Additionally here’s a cool documentary about asexuality. Trigger Warning: This includes graphic images.